ok well im finally updating....sorta......i'm only half-updating. i dont have the time and energy rite now to do the whole thing so ill do it sometime later

anyways

schools back in session

i cant say that im loving it.....

too much work, stress, lack of sleep, blablabla

and im really starting to feel lonely and wca

like everyone has their group, or their best friend who they can ALWAYS count on

now me? i dont. i have no clue where i fit in or where i belong. ugh.

and then theres the problems with yes, you guessed it. a boy.

so over the summer this guy whos a senior at our school and me had a little romance thing goin on. he'd be all like ooo i definitely see you as a potential girlfriend and  youre so pretty and i love being around you and blablabla

and i'd talk to him like every single day back in the summer

and we did some stupid stuff we probably shouldnt have 

so anyways. now all of a sudden hes like "we have to be just friends. nothing more." so im kinda like huh?????

i really liked this guy

blah

so i was like okay fine. we can be buddies like we used to be.

but noooooooo. now hes ignoring me and is being a jerk to me when i do happen to talk to him or text him etc...

so i have no clue what the heck is goin on

and you  know me, im one of those people who will cry for days if someones mad at them or if someone is hurting

so yea. i dunno what to do.

also, i'm extra sleep deprived and stressed and blablabla

so school sucks

and then i come home and home life of course is bad also

i mean seriously, i thought it was getting better but then it jus has to go almost all the way back to how it was.

that reminds me, the other day our ethics teacher decided to talk about abuse, rape, and other stuff like that.

i just looked down at my desk the whole time.

and yea then he starts talkin about  self worth n stuff and how we deserve to be loved and not hurt

yea well its crazy hard for me to have any self worth whatsoever

so i dunno. thats life i guess. put on a happy face when ur hurting.

oh and also something ive noticed: hardly anyone at wca will notice if you're hurting. i mean my gosh.

i am really wondering who actually cares

cuz i doubt too many people would. even if they swear they would

so yea. life basically isnt all that great rite now.

and im still lookin for a way out of all the hurt and stress and crap

but yea. still havent found one.

so in a way, i think i may jus really be in need of some love. i dont mean like dating or whatever. but just love. cuz i dont have too much of it in my life.

and i can be strong most of the time, but its never gonna be 24/7

also, a simple hug would be nice. but has anyone taken the time to notice how much im hurting? nope. especially not the senior guy.

anyways, enough of my depressed sounding babbling. i'm off to get some sleep.

Currently Listening Daughtry By Daughtry home see related

yay im finally updating!

wow well i havent updated in quite some time lol

and being that im stuck home sick and bored out of my mind, i think i will

wow so a lot has gone on since i  last typed on here

hm lets see...

so the christmas banquet was fun

that's me, daniel, thomas, and raphy lol and what a great picture it is

and thats raphy, me, lizzie, and nicole before the cb

so yup it all went very well

so then came new years

mine was filled with horses, injuries, mountain dew, and hicktown fun lol

yea so i fell off a horse onto my head, got kicked by a horse trying to uh...hump the horse i was sitting on, got a lil horse bite on my ankle from a horse that was chewing on my jeans, and got many other bruises from random things lol

but overall, it was awesomely fun

oh yea so then me and joe started going out

hes pretty darn amazing

oh yea and the reason we're all camo-ey is cuz of spirit week

which was lotsa fun

i pretty much went crazy every day but monday

the first day was college logo day

so i of course chose mizzou

oh and the picture is from studyhall

wow we have some good times in there with grampa t

the 2nd day was hero day

so raphy and me decided to go to the mills and get some camo stuff and be army people

the 3rd day was animation day

i was pocahontas

the 4th day was class color day

ours was green

and wow did i go crazy on that day or what

i swear i didnt wear one item of anything but green except for that white shirt thing which i ended up spray painting green anyway

so then the next day was blue and white day which i also went crazy for

raphy, larry, and me

yup so spirit week was mucho fun

so then nothing too interesting has happened since then

ive been sick and home from school for the past 5 days

not fun....

but laying here on the couch for that long has givin me a lot of thinking time

so that is definitely good

ive just been pondering about life and just about everything u could think of

and oh yea, the past.

dang ive been thru a lot of crap

but i came to the conclusion that i have come out of it strong and that basically, my life purpose is to help people

so yay

well im gonna go work on the pile of homework i have

byebye!

Currently Listening Daughtry By Daughtry Home see related

stress, anticipation, and joy

 ahh ok so i am way too stressed right now

we've had a ton of homework lately and a million tests and stuff

and im getting so little sleep that if i even sit down for too long, i fall asleep

its really sad

oh and also i REALLY want track season

oh how i miss those 8 hour meets in the 110 degree heat

its gonna be so awesome this year

wca track AND summer track! yay!

and all that training in between practices

im gonna have like no time whatsoever in the summer

all my time will be spent on track

thats love right there haha

but im happy because i FINALLY got my braces off!!

yep so thats pretty nice

oh and by the way, we have a chorus concert coming up!!

its at mobap this thursday (the 14th) at 7:30pm

so try to come

itll be pretty cool despite the suckyness of our mixed chorus

but we're doing a song with concert choir so thatll make it better i promise lol

ah this keyboard is crappy

keys keep falling off

its quite annoying

ugh so yea tomorrow im gonna attempt to find a christmas banquet dress

its always not much fun to shop for one but once you've found a great one, its much better

but there are some reeeeeeally ugly dresses out there...

like these:

at least i have a date

kinda

a friend date

so itll be fun

its daniel alexander by the way

hes really tall

oh, and to clear up any of these stupid rumors that have been going around lately, WE ARE NOT GOING OUT. WE ARE ONLY JUST FRIENDS.

yea. so i hate rumors. i wish people would just refrain from spreading them and talk to the person that the rumor is about to find out the real story. but sadly, people dont usually do that....

alrite well im off to get some sleep

with luck, ill have some good dreams

i love dreams

much ♥

brenna

^^^^^ and yes i actually took that from inside a car

On the first day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
A partridge in a pear tree. 

On the second day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the third day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Three French hens, 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the fourth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Four calling birds, 
Three French hens, 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the fifth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Five golden rings, 
Four calling birds, 
Three French hens, 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the sixth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Six geese a-laying, 
Five golden rings, 
Four calling birds, 
Three French hens, 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the seventh day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Seven swans a-swimming, 
Six geese a-laying, 
Five golden rings, 
Four calling birds, 
Three French hens, 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the eighth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Eight maids a-milking, 
Seven swans a-swimming, 
Six geese a-laying, 
Five golden rings, 
Four calling birds, 
Three French hens, 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the ninth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Nine ladies dancing, 
Eight maids a-milking, 
Seven swans a-swimming, 
Six geese a-laying, 
Five golden rings, 
Four calling birds, 
Three French hens, 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the tenth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Ten lords a-leaping, 
Nine ladies dancing, 
Eight maids a-milking, 
Seven swans a-swimming, 
Six geese a-laying, 
Five golden rings, 
Four calling birds, 
Three French hens, 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the eleventh day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Eleven pipers piping, 
Ten lords a-leaping, 
Nine ladies dancing, 
Eight maids a-milking, 
Seven swans a-swimming, 
Six geese a-laying, 
Five golden rings, 
Four calling birds, 
Three French hens, 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, 
my true love sent to me 
Twelve drummers drumming, 
Eleven pipers piping, 
Ten lords a-leaping, 
Nine ladies dancing, 
Eight maids a-milking, 
Seven swans a-swimming, 
Six geese a-laying, 
Five golden rings, 
Four calling birds, 
Three French hens, 
Two turtle doves, 
And a partridge in a pear tree! 

ok, so this song was on the radio this morning and i realized how little sense it makes.

first of all, why is the song called the 12 days of christmas when there is only one day of christmas???

and then who the heck would give someone a partridge for christmas?? and why is it in a pear tree? why not an apple tree??

and usually turtle doves arent even domesticated....and since when were hens french??

ok so the first seven verses minus the 5th verse are all about birds, but where did they get the rings from?? its a little bit random if ya ask me....

i thought they were sticking to a birds and humans theme here but noooo they just HAD to add the 5 golden rings in there and screw it all up.

and then who would give someone maids for christmas?? is that even legal?? and then youd have to give the person a bunch of cows or goats or something too  because the maids are milking....but what are they milking anyway???

and the next few verses are all about dancing and music. so how do the milking maids and golden rings fit into this song??

ugh i just dont get it. this poor persons "true love" had major issues and was probably a drugged hobo with too much time on his hands. oh well.               

im really getting sick of christmas songs already....

†BRENNA†

zzz....

ahhhhh ok so i am really mad at computers, expos., and essays rite now

i did my essay and then tried to save it and the computer decided to shut down and have a virus or something

so then i had to re-do it

only problem?

it was 2 am.

so now im up at 5:28 trying to get it to print

i got 10 minutes of sleep tho

not fun....

im hoping that i can get a few more minutes of sleep between now and school and hopefully i can make some coffee or something

ugh i want summer